Afternoon, all

Miss J snapped this pic the other morning with her Crackberry. It's rare to see clouds like this in SoCal, especially in the summer so their puffy loveliness caught her attention.

Miss J realizes she has been woefully inattentive to this blog for the past couple weeks. She hasn't really even been visiting the blogs of her interweb friends very much... a little lurking but rarely even commenting... busy-ness is part of it, the other part- just not feelin' it. Miss J's mind has been occupied with other things... the whole agent thing, Mama Janey's visit, new headshots, rehearsal, opening Season 3 of Avalon Terrace and finishing her novel, Miss Janey's Jewels. See, she promised Mr. J she'd finish it by June and by that she means yesterday. Which she did not manage to do. In fact, each time she attempts editing, the damn thing just gets longer.

The ever-supportive Mr. J is so convinced that Jewels is Miss J's ticket to freedom (from the day job), that he has used every type of bargaining possible to entice its completion. "New headshots" but only after the book is done. (Miss J's new agents subverted that, thank ya very much.) "New bed" when the book is done... You get the picture, darlings. Maybe the reason Miss J hasn't finished it is good, old-fashioned fear. What if she finishes the book and no one wants it and she is STILL stuck at her day job? Even though this is not the worst thing that could happen in the universe, it would suck mightily. And with sharp teeth.

Thus while others are off barbecuing and boozing this weekend, Miss J hopes to be locked inside FINISHING HER DAMN BOOK! At least she won't get sunburned.

Happy Independence Day, ya'll.

BTW, doesn't Miss J look like an assassin here? You know, the ol' one last kill before retirement hired killer but our hardened lady assassin develops a heart when she dicovers her target is a child so she has to lam it with the kid while a whole crew of buff dude assassins is trying to track her down? Miss J's excellent photographer Matthew Scott Drake also said, "You totally look like a New York power lesbian..." Either way, Miss J can play that.

RIP Michael Jackson

Miss Janey is surprised at how deeply affected she feels by Michael Jackson's death. She'd kind of given up on him right around the time of the second child molestation charges. All the quirks, the surgeries, the oddball behaviors- seemingly devised to attract media attention- it had just all gotten to be too much. The second allegations of abuse were the final straw.

Like a lot of people, Miss J would have been quite content to hold on forever to little Michael Jackson, the innocent and adorable singer of the Jackson Five who melted our hearts and astounded us with his grown-up talent.


Likewise, the sexy Michael Jackson of “Off the Wall” and Thriller” was a favorite. A graceful dancer, talented singer and cock-sure performer, he seemed on top of his game and the entire world. The release of “Thriller” coincided with Miss J finally feeling comfortable enough to dance in public and she couldn’t begin to count the number of times she danced the night away that album. She LOVED him! Looking back over her life, the songs of the Jackson Five and Michael Jackson have had radio and TV play throughout most of it. No wonder people feel so strongly about Jackson- he’s been in our home via TV and radio so long it’s almost as if he is family. We have watched him grow up. His impact on the entertainment industry is inestimable. Every boy-band since The Jacksons has lifted something from Michael Jackson.

When Miss J was learning to ride a bicycle, Michael Jackson was being prepped for superstardom. And not in a loving, nurturing manner. The stories of Joseph Jackson’s physical and mental abuse are well-known. Take a sensitive child, afflict him with an abusive parent and the results are going to be messy. Add world superstardom and anything is possible- good and bad: generous donations to charities, and allegations of child molestation. Both are part of his legacy.

Miss J has long suspected Jackson was guilty. No doubt the fact that Miss J was molested as a child colors her view.

Yet when she sees photographs as Jackson as a child, and remembers him how he was, she has all the compassion in the world for him and weeps for the inner strife that drove the plastic surgeries and well-documented eccentricities. He was an extremely gifted person and hardly the first or last child star to discover being a grown up celebrity has a lot of pitfalls.

May he find peace. It’s profoundly sad to think he is gone.

RIP Farrah

RIP Farrah

If you came of age in the era of "Charlie's Angels" you remember what a HUGE sensation it was and how influential Farrah was. What girl wasn't trying to rock her own version of Farrah's fabulous 'do back in the day? Miss J had her own pale imitation which never came close to the original. Who could?

Me So Busy

Miss J has been slam-a-ramma-ding-dong bizzizy. She and Mama J stayed on the move during Mama J's visit, and now Miss J is back to normal life. Which is more hectic than ever. Musical improv class on Wednesday nights, rehearsal Thursdays and of course the return of Avalon Terrace. Miss J is So busy, she's not even writing her own blurb, rather just lifting one from a Facebook page.

Avalon Terrace Season 3 begins this Sat. night at 7:00 pm. Who survived the catastrophic flood from the exciting season 2 finale? Is there an Avalon Terrace left? Why are there new names on the credits?

Come have all this answered and more, with a special double episode, at 7:00 and 8:15

$10 for one show, $15 for both.

Beyond Wealth, Beyond Fame, Beyond Passion Lies Avalon Terrace.

Let the drama begin Saturday night.

On ..Miss J'z walk: pea hen

Represent, yo.

What a great day. Mama Janey is here and MIss J has a new agent. Whoo hoo!

The 5000

Here is Mr. J with his invention... the healless drum pedal. The Janeys drove out to Chad Sexton’s Drum City in North Hollywood to see it. One of Mr. J's students told Mr. J they actually had one for sale so they wanted to see it at an actual store. (Another one of Miss J's old 'hoods, btw. Oh, the parties that happened at that apartment...)

Work on this pedal started, hm... at least five years ago. First with the idea, then drawings and drafts, a patent lawyer, prototypes, etc and blahblahblah. It has been a long and expensive process. Now that the pedal is finally in stores, the Janeys will hopefully begin to see a return on their investment. Because Miss J would very much like to start living the life of luxury complete with champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

And a pool boy.

Oops

So, funny story. Last evening, Miss J was sharing her Tale of Agent Woe with her Mister when her cell phone rang. Mr. J said, "It's a 323 area code."

"It's probably Miss Jo. I'll call her back in a minute."

"How do you know it's not that agent?"

Miss J rolled her eyes, practically out of her head. "Pfft. Right."

Mr. J grabbed the phone and passed it to Miss J. And of course it WAS Mr. James from the agency saying that he and his partner (the over-scrutinizing Glenn Close Clone) want to see Miss J again on Monday. Hahahaha! Miss J really did NOT see that coming and feels kinda ridiculous with her premature whining. Now she has to find a comic monolgue to memorize and present- something else she forgot is required when auditioning for agents. You'd think she'd have a couple of these in her back pocket, so to speak, just in case, but no. Also, Miss J is NOT what they call a quick study when it comes to the memorization. She looked around at some monlogues on-line, and thought, Well, hell, Miss J's own material is funnier than most of this. Thus, she has decided to write her own monologue, lifting a little of this and that from her old stand-up stuff. So wish her luck, friends.

The "Mama Janey In Cali" countdown has begun. She will be in Cali in SIX DAYS. Whoo HOO!

And Miss J's beloved Avalon Terrace returns June 25th. Rehearsals started last night. Poor Phillip Carmeister was killed in the epic tidal wave that rolled through Avalon Terrace, but there are three new residents of Avalon Terrace to keep things interesting. Miss J predicts her Chris Chamberlin may become even more unhinged as she is now living in the Montgomery Manse with her lover R.H. and his wife Erica. Let the intrigue begin.

The Biz

Thanks to everyone for their lovely and kind compliments regarding Miss J's new hairdid. Despite all the love, Miss J is feeling neither fierce NOR fabulous at the mo'. Miss J has just returned from one of her least favorite activities- the Agent Interview.

Miss J has not had a theatrical or commercial agent in years and years. The reason being that if you have a day job and can't audition for stuff, there's no point in having an agent. Moreover, getting a good agent it no small feat. Even when Miss J was performing sketch weekly, garnering good reviews in the LA Times and LA Weekly, she still couldn't get a good agent. Oh, she was with an agency- they just weren't good. A friend who was in casting once said, "Miss J- you need to get a better agent. These guys...they're not even third tier." Believe Miss J when she says, she tried: letters, showcase performances, postcards- to no avail. To be honest, that part of the business was always Miss J's least favorite. Nothing against agents- it’s the process. Miss J LOVES the process of acting- rehearsal, research, improvisation- it's creative and stimulating. Sending out a bunch of agent inquiries- "Hi, I perform sketch and stand-up and improv and I'm soooo awesome and pretty, pretty please grant me an interview"- well, like Miss J said, not her fave.

So imagine Miss J' surprise (and suspicion) when on Tuesday she received an email from someone from an agency, saying he'd like to see her for an interview. Miss J though it was a hoax. Or one of those scams of, "Oh, gives us a thousand bucks and we'll hire the best photographer in town for you, and give you Special Acting Classes" but, no. Miss J checked them out- they are legit. Although, she was a little dismayed to see they are primarily a modeling agency. Now, Miss J can look hot, but sweet sick jebesus- she ain't no model. Which is fine, too, she discovered as they represent "other types".

Flash forward to this morning, Miss J leaving work for her, ahem, "doctor's appointment", driving close to an hour, wondering if she'd be on time, finally arriving and almost walking into an Actual Model, who was very nice and, of course, so very thin. A gay assistant gave Miss J the ladies room key (YES, of course Miss J was hoping they would ALL be gay men, but no such luck). Next Miss J encountered a blond who reminded her of Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction". She gave Miss J such a seething once-over that Miss J could almost hear her thinking, "What is this FAT woman doing in the lobby?" Which, by the way, wasn't that nice a lobby- very messy and rundown and small. Very third or even fourth tier. But whatevs- Miss J is just trying to get her foot back in the door.

Miss J was taken to a tiny conference room where she met with the gent who emailed her. She had a good feeling about it- they seemed to have a rapport. He understood Miss J being outta the biz for a while and having headshots that are some years old. OK, ancient. And then he said, "Let me go get my partner," who of course, turned out to be the Glenn Close clone and who managed another seething once-over for Miss J. By now, Miss J was getting the picture that this was just not going to happen. It was clear that the Close Clone was the office alpha, so Miss J does not expect they will see her again. They'll call "by Monday" but Miss J fully expects a cursory, Thanks but No Thanks. Miss J was slightly surprised to discover she was close to tears all the back to the office because she promised herself that this time it would be different. This time, she wasn't going to get all excited and hopeful and starry-eyed. She told herself she'd be OK with them not liking her, she understands that to them she's just a product to sell another product, no big deal, nothing personal.

And yet here it is, that same old heartbreak.

Which of course makes Miss J wonder if it’s worth it. Miss J gets to rehearse and perform with amazing people at Impro. She has been perfectly happy just doing that. Of course, occasionally its occurred to her, "Well maybe I should look for an agent, start auditioning again... aw, but I need new headshots, and I have to work during the day..." and soon it is dropped.

But the truth is performing is all- ALL- Miss Janey has ever wanted to do in the world. She remembers singing along to the radio when she was three or four and wishing she could be the person singing it. And thinking someday she would be. Hell, even with her book, Miss J views it as a performance piece, something she'll read aloud in bookstores everywhere. The worst thing Miss J ever did was quit performing after she and the Mister bought their house. It left a giant hole in her life that she filled with all kinds of negative mischief. And so, why is she only half-pursuing it now? And without an agent, that is what it amounts to.

Miss J called her director and teacher Miss Jo who shared with Miss J some of her own unhappy experiences of feeling scrutinized on-set and feeling as if she doesn't measure up. Beautiful JO? Who books commercials left and right? REALLY? "You really meet all your demons in this business," she said. It was a great reminder to Miss that every actor goes through this. No wonder so many are half-plastic! Miss J felt much better afterward.

So, maybe they'll call, probably they won't. It doesn't matter. The meeting gave Miss J a little bump and she needed a little bump. She's not going to make any of her dreams come true being a receptionist. Yep, she's grateful for her job and the people she works with. But this is NOT what Miss J came to California to do. Time for new headshots. And the next step, whatever that is. And then the next one. So Glenn Close Clone- thanks for the lemons, bitch. Miss J's gonna go make some lemonade!

(Miss J's old headshot... say adios.)

Miss J Has a New Hair Did

It's been a long, long time since Miss J last sported a bob. She's still undecided about it- it's so smoove. But it is garnering the compliments so its got that goin' for it. Of course, here she is fresh from Miss Rachel's styling prowess... it's bound to suffer once Miss J takes over the styling.

I Are Stoopid

So, Miss J was SO excited to upload her little garden movie (see below), she completely neglected to make it available for public viewing. Try again, please. You're here- you might as well!